The Loyalty Debate: Friends v. Self
By Kristine Duong ('05)
When most people hear the word "loyalty," the image of Lassie happily bounds into their minds. Still others envision the Central Pacific Bank’s motto of "fiercely loyal banking" – again characterized by a faithful dog. Okay, so dogs are the epitome of loyalty, but we can still learn a thing or two from our fur-legged canine companions.
This quarter’s character theme, loyalty, as defined by the Iolani Leaders and Helper’s Club in their chapel performance, is firm resistance to any temptation to desert or betray. Loyalty is sacrificing personal advantage for the good of the group. Loyalty is remembering who has helped you for years, not just whom you want to please today. Loyalty is when your group, team, club, or committee is counting on you.
"I think loyalty is essential in a friendship because you have to trust the people you hang out with, but you also have to be loyal to them in return. Kind of a give-and-take relationship," says junior Lara Malins.
This theme coincidentally also comes after the controversy of plagiarism became an open forum topic of discussion in Imua.
As a teenager, peer pressure becomes as normal as tests on Fridays and surrounds us like procrastinated research papers.
The true value of one friend’s loyalty to another is put to the test if one friend witness the other cheating on a quiz or test or allowing the other to copy homework assignments.
On one hand, friends help each other out in times of need, right? But what defines a "time of need?" Needing to complete a homework assignment by period 4 is not the same as needing support after a death in the family.
Many students have trouble defining loyalty because they have trouble finding examples of true loyalty in their lives.
To make it simple for everyone, The American Heritage Dictionary, 3rd edition, defines loyalty as: "steadfast in alliance or faithful, as to a person, ideal, cause, or duty.
Obviously, loyalty improves our relationships with other people and our peers, but too often the concept of loyalty to our morals and beliefs is forgotten or ignored.
Those values and morals that have been ingrained in us by our parents would understandably be redefined as we, as tweens and teens, grow older and gain greater experience in "the real world".
However, the idea of not cheating is something that has been challenged greatly and is one issue that many students have trouble being loyal to.
"You can do anything you want . . . as long as you don’t get caught" is a phrase many people live by, thereby causing the unwanted trend in crimes and misdemeanors.
How many of our students also live by this guideline? How many are repeat offenders? This may seemingly blow the issue of plagiarism way out of proportion, but this is the truth.
Loyalty to friends should not compromise loyalty to our distinction of right from wrong.
Take an example from our four-legged companions: They only know and love the masters that raised, loved, and cared for them as pups. When they are older, they only respond to the same person.
Likewise, we should obey the values embedded in us since "small-kid time" and respond to only that feeling of conscience in times when our loyalty is put to the test.
Linking the Heart and Mind (Consideration)
By Amy Blackwell (’05)
What is consideration? According to Character Education Core Values, consideration is careful thought about the effects of your actions and the welfare of other people. When you think about how someone’s feelings will be affected before speaking, or understand why someone doesn’t see things the same way you do, you are being considerate. Last quarter’s theme, generosity, is recalled when one asks himself what they can do to make a social situation or class activity better, or put other people’s interests before their own. Being able to place long-term goals before present conveniences is also a form of consideration. Let’s take a look at what Iolani students had to say about consideration in their lives.
Carlee Hirano ('16): "If someone gets hurt, I help them and really care about them."
Rafael Lee ('16): "I don’t scare a dog."
Christine Tamura ('16): "I make new friends with other people."
Spencer Ho ('15): "I help clean up my toys."
Yun Sakakibara ('15): "I help taking care of my rabbit."
Erin Watanabe ('15): "I help my mom cook."
Alex Young ('15): "I help my mom clean the toilet."
Megan Ching ('14): "I help watch my little brother."
Timmy Leong ('14): "I help other people when they’re hurt."
Max Look ('14): "I don’t beat people up."
Kevin Kim ('13): "I try to be nice to my brother."
Ashlee Takushi ('13): "Whenever my parents ask favors, I try to do it for them."
Richie Yancey ('13): "I clean up the house."
Laura Kagami ('12): "Respect your classmates."
Kelsey Tasoe ('12): "Pay attention to the teacher when she’s talking."
Trevor Tsugawa ('12): "When you understand why people do the things that they do."
Stephanie Char ('11): "When you care about other people."
Jennifer Teruya ('11): "Think about others’ feelings."
Kylen Yamakawa ('11): "Help others out."
Christina Fasi ('10): "Think of others' feelings before saying something."
Amy Lee ('10): "Respect other people’s feelings."
Haley Ling ('10): "Respect other people’s belongings and don’t take them."
Emily Kuo ('09): "Consideration is when you respect people."
Erin Nakashima ('09): "Consideration is when you respect other people’s feelings."
Robyn Totoki ('09): "Consideration is a quality everyone should have."
Lauren Ching ('08): "Consideration is when you’re aware of other people’s feelings."
Crissy Faria ('08): "Consideration is caring about what other people think."
Lucy Liu ('07): "Since I’m new this year, I really appreciated it when kids came up to me and introduced themselves. I’ve made lots of new friends that way."
Mie Omori ('07): "I leave the lights on for my sister if she comes home late at night."
Kevin Otsuka ('07): "When my brother is in the bathroom, I don’t pound obnoxiously on the door to hurry him."
Christine Chen ('06): "My brother tries not to be so loud around me when I’m doing my homework."
Julia Miller ('06): "When my mom drives me home, she is considerate of me when I’m reading and won’t turn on the radio."
Joshua Wong ('06): "I thought it was really considerate when somebody randomly held the door open for me one time."
Kelli Grobe ('05): "Consideration is when you’re polite and gracious for things others do for you."
Micah Miyaki ('05): "Consideration is saying please and thank you."
Stacie Nishimoto ('05): "Consideration is moving out of the way when someone is injured."
Tania Slavens ('05): "Consideration is picking up after someone spills something."
Kimberly Petko ('04): "Consideration can be shown while driving on the road."
Tricia Sakamoto ('04): "Consideration is when you’re always aware of the concerns of others, and you truly care about people."
Tiffany Wakayama ('04): "When you put others before yourself."
Gifts From the Heart (Generosity)
By Mimi Toguchi (’05)
As we approach the holidays, we are all reminded of the true meaning of generosity, which is usually defined as warm-hearted readiness in giving and judging, without regard for returns. Throughout second quarter, students have been reminded to ask what they can do for others, share their talents, encourage and help one another, and do the right thing without seeking credit for it. Student representatives of the Character Education Committee interviewed fellow students from all grade levels to find examples of generosity from their everyday lives.
As Rafael Lee (’16) understands, generosity can be a simple act: "My mom dropped me off at school."
Lyndsey Shimazu (’15) was a recipient of generosity when "Someone played a game with me."
Candice Sombrero (’06) shares her wisdom in telling us "Generosity is when with whatever you have, you’re willing to give to other people in need to make them happy."
"Generosity is when you give something without thinking you’re going to receive something," said Leigh Sumida (’06).
Homelessness often moves people to be generous, as several students pointed out. An anonymous sixth grader said, "My mom gave money to the homeless."
Kelsey Tasoe (’12) thinks of generosity as "Donating to the homeless."
Sarah Oishi (’13) testified, "My mom gave books to the homeless."
"Generosity is giving a homeless person your lunch," said Daniel Adachi (’06).
Sharing is commonly associated with generosity, as was evident with many `Iolani students. Spencer Luther (’11) said, "I’ve given snacks to others when they don’t have."
According to Alyssa Fong-Kwan (’07), "Generosity is when you give your lunch, or part of your lunch to a friend if they don’t have."
Eamon Wall (’08) told us "One time, a friend lent me some lunch money because I forgot mine."
Sharing food and lending money to buy food seem to be popular examples of generosity, as was the case with Ayesha Cooray (’09) who said, "One day, I forgot my wallet at home and a friend lent me some money to buy lunch."
Brad Chun (’08) also shared that "A friend lent me money for lunch one day."
Taking time out of your day to help others who are less fortunate than you is a great way to be generous. James Street (’04) was a coach for the "Lucky Ducks" Special Olympics basketball team. As he reflected on the experience, he stated that it was "exhausting work, but it was the most fulfilling thing I’ve ever done."
Chelsea Peltier (’05) who volunteers at Kaiser Hospital shared with us that she enjoys "cheering kids up who don’t have anything to be happy about at the time."
Kristi Yeung (’08) is an excellent example of generosity through helping others. "One time I helped an old lady carry her laundry because she couldn’t walk really fast and I saw that she needed help."
`Iolani provides wonderful opportunities for students to reach out to others and be models of generosity. "Last year, I volunteered to read to the kids at Ala Wai Elementary. I would go there once a month and read whatever to the kids. I really enjoyed it, but this year, I’m planning to do something else," stated Elisa Nirei (’08).
Kyson Morikuni (’05), the treasurer of Young Leaders which is a club that joins with students from Punahou to do community service projects, realized that giving to others can be "fun as well as helpful." He told us that, "The first event I went to was the car wash and we made the most money in Young Leaders history." The money raised was donated to cancer research.
Taryn Pascua (’10) said, "My friends went to a nursing home to make posters and sing Christmas carols."
Kyle Flores (’13) portrays generosity through club activities. "In the Helping Hands Club, we made arts and crafts for kids in the hospital."
Tamlyn Maruyama (’09) stated "One time, I forgot to do my homework and a friend helped me with it during lunch."
"At my old school, I helped other kids with their homework," shared Matthew Martines (’09).
Jeffrey Kwok (’09) is an example of generosity in the classroom: "I usually loan people school supplies when they need it."
`Iolani students seem to have a very personal understanding of generosity. As portrayed through these students, generosity can have several different, true meanings that range from sharing to helping to reading to working to donating, and yes, even to playing.
As Winston Churchill once said, "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."
